Watch Out, Here Comes the Grinch

I was recently given an offer I couldn't refuse by two of my sisters-in-law: they said they would bump the spending limit on my Christmas present up from $40 to $43** if I would update my blog before I see them both at Thanksgiving. Since I'll do almost anything for $3 worth of cash and/or prizes (not really), here goes...

I do have a little rant that I need to get off my chest, and Kate is spending the morning at the neighbors' having a playdate so this is perfect timing for actually being able to write. I've just spent my precious little free time scouring the stores for Christmas dresses that I hope will be pleasing to the eye of my four year old daughter. I'm feeling a bit like a disgruntled personal assistant to some tacky Hollywood starlet at the moment. Which one of those supermodels is always in the news for throwing a cell phone at her assistant?

Anyway, I don't usually even bother with fancy holiday clothes for the girls. I know lots of women who would die and go to heaven with TWO little girls to dress up every day, but it's just not my thing at all. They usually dress themselves like boys or homeless hobo ex-fairy princesses most days. You have to pick your battles, as they say, and toddler fashion is not the field I choose to die on. If you've ever seen them dressed up for some function, my mom or my mother-in-law probably bought those outfits, god bless them.

But this year we will be at the wedding of my cousin Brad just one week before Christmas, so it seemed like a really good year to go all out and buy them some precious little fancy Christmas dresses to twirl around in. So I went shopping. Before Thanksgiving, even. As soon as the Christmas dresses were out in the stores, I was there. Hold your applause. Almost all of the dresses, at cheap and expensive shops alike, were thin little numbers with no sleeves. We're talking about late December here. Even in Oklahoma, that can be a bitterly cold and dark time of year. Why would I want a sundress made out of flimsy silk like a negligee for my tiny daughters to wear at night in December? Oh, I can pay twice as much to buy the matching WOOL COAT that is supposed to go over it?? You can take that wool coat and stick it in your...

Sorry. Despair drove me into a frenzy of internet shopping that finally turned up this perfect little dress for sale at Dillard's, so I bought three of them (Kate is sort of in between sizes).



Cute, right? Traditional, festive. Girly without being foolish. Fancy enough for a wedding. Perfect. Well, we got the dresses in the mail yesterday, and full of excitement and holiday cheer, I unwrapped them and put them on the girls...

Kate burst into tears. No joke. Weeping. Maggie just said, her voice full of boredom and contempt, "Can I take this off now?"

Seriously. What to do? Do I give two preschoolers a lecture in gratitude and force them to wear the dresses anyway because... well, give me a break! No one said you have the right to be a fashionista in this house. Kids in Africa are starving and would have to wear this dress, second-hand, to school every day IN AUGUST! IN AFRICA! Or something like that.

No, I don't want to turn a holly, jolly Christmas into a death march of shame in black velvet and tulle petticoat. Sigh. So today I was out reassessing the Christmas dress market. To be honest we do already have a dress in Kate's size that once belonged to our niece Ana that will work just fine. Both girls have actually worn it for fun around the house although neither had any occasion to wear a fancy Christmas dress before this. It's red satin with green and cream polka dots and a green velvet shrug, and Kate seems to find it acceptable. I had just wanted to actually buy them something new and maybe matching/coordinating, but I'm over it now.

So I'm on the hunt for something that will pass Maggie's fierce scrutiny. I picked up a couple of options that were less than ideal to my point of view but at least not zebra striped or hot pink... which is why I did this shopping alone and did not take the Mags with me. She doesn't need to know what other monstrosities are for sale out there on the racks, lest we end up with one kid in a nice Christmas dress and the other in a hot pink, glitter-covered, puppy dog-emblazoned sweatshirt dress with purple ruffled leggings and silver sequined tennis shoes. At my cousin's wedding. In the family photographs which will live on in infamy until the end of time. Amen.

I'll let you know which dress Her Highness chooses.

And do you know what else? There are still tights and shoes to get, and I will give you all $5 each if there is no whining about either of those items (if I can actually find them in both of their sizes and don't have to order them online from some horribly expensive boutique). And hair bows - well, you can forget hair bows. Hair bows are dead to me. Are there really people in this world who ENJOY this stuff? How can that be? It's giving me an ulcer.

After this, all I am going to want for Christmas is to spend the entire day in nothing but footie pajamas. ...Oh, and I DID find some super cute cozy footie pjs for the girls for Christmas. That was fun, I have to admit.

**Does this count as "monetizing" my blog?