Today's To Do List, while the government is shut down:
1. Cut the tags off all our mattresses.
2. Only come to rolling stops at stop signs.
3. Plant marijuana garden in the backyard. (Don't worry. I'm embarrassingly bad at gardening. They'll all be dead by the time the government is back online.)
4. No tip!
5. Mess with Texas.
6. Place cell phone calls during the movie.
7. Stay ON the grass.
8. Cut in line.
9. Park in front of hydrants.
10. Open all the neighbors' mail, then throw it away.
11. Studiously ignore desperate feelings about the state of our political system.