Maggie Sez...

... Why is that lady sitting with that girl on her lap at the bus stop? Isn't that girl too old?

Me: I don't think that's a lady. That's a boy and a girl. They're both teenagers.

M: Why is that girl sitting on his lap?

Me: I guess they're boyfriend and girlfriend. They're being all kissy-face! EW!! [*Brainwash, brainwash*]

M: Kissy-face! Yuck! Ew! Make them stop!

Me: Yes, kissy-face is gross. Make it stop.

(a few blocks later, after some deep thought...)

Maggie: Let's go back and ask that lady if she's really a boy.


Note: Perhaps you are thinking I should be raising my children all crunchy-granola to be more open-minded and in touch with human feelings and sexuality and love. But I don't want them to grow up to be Stevie Nicks, I want them to grow up to be Liz Lemon. That's why I've decided to start answering all their uncomfortable questions honestly... but in German.